JavaScript Menu, DHTML Menu Powered By Milonic
sitemap    contact us    search:
 
Domestic Violence Information and Resources

Updated: June 5, 2005 23:30 hrs.

Domestic violence can take different forms, but its goal is always the same: batterers want total power and control over their partners. They do this by regularly abusing them physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Abusers are very much in control: they hit when they want to, hit as hard as they want to and stop when they are ready.

PHYSICAL ABUSE

  • Slapping, kicking, pushing

  • Hitting, choking, punching

VERBAL ABUSE

  • Constant criticism, name calling, shouting

  • Making humiliating remarks, mocking

ISOLATION

  • Not allowing the victim to see friends and relatives

  • Monitoring phone calls, reading mail

  • Controlling where victim goes

  • Taking victim's keys, locking victim out of home

HARRASSMENT/COERCION/THREATS/INTIMIDATION

  • Making the victim feel guilty

  • Pushing the victim into decisions

  • Manipulating children and other family members

  • Always insisting on being right

  • Making up impossible "rules" and punishing the victim for breaking them

  • Threatening to harm the victim, children, family members and pets

  • Using physical size to intimidate

  • Keeping weapons and threatening to use them

  • Following or stalking

  • Humiliating the victim in public

  • Constantly checking up on the victim and his/her whereabouts-extreme jealousy and possessiveness

ECONOMIC CONTROL

  • Not paying bills, refusing to give victim money

  • Not letting victim work or interfering with his/her job

  • Refusing to work and support the family

ABUSING TRUST

  • Lying, breaking promises

  • Withholding information

  • Being unfaithful

  • Being overly jealous

  • Not sharing domestic responsibilities

  • Manipulating victim with lies and contradictions

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

  • Not expressing feelings

  • Not giving compliments, approval, or affection

  • Not paying attention to victim

  • Not respecting the victim, ignoring his/her feelings, rights and opinions

  • Not taking the victim's concerns seriously

  • Ridiculing or insulting the victim's most valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class

Children and Domestic Violence

If children are in the home, they too are victims of domestic violence. Children of battered mothers are often victims of physical and emotional abuse. They do not feel safe, and may blame themselves for the violence or their failure to prevent it. Children who live in a violent environment:

  • Learn to solve conflicts, problems and frustrations with violence

  • Learn to maintain control of others by using violence and threats of violence

  • Learn that loved ones have the right to hurt one another

  • Often feel guilty, angry and/or responsible for the violence

  • Become angry and aggressive with peers, adults, animals and inanimate objects

  • Often confuse love and violence

  • Become sad, withdrawn, moody

  • Have problems accepting authority

  • Demand excessive attention and become very clingy

  • Have a low tolerance for frustration

  • Violence in the home causes emotional abandonment, fear, anxiety, feelings of powerless, helplessness, worthlessness, low self-esteem, isolation, stress, depression, flashbacks

  • Grow up to be abusers of their own mates or children

  • Children learn from modeling: a daughter will likely accept the abuse just as her mother, and a son will likely abuse just like his father

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCES

FAMILY VIOLENCE VICTIM SERVICES - HUNTINGTON BEACH POLICE DEPARTMENT: The goal of Family Violence Victim Services is to provide Services to victims of family violence and assistance during the investigation and prosecution of offenders. We provide support services including case status information, orientation to the criminal justice system, restraining order information, victim compensation program information, and resource and referral information.

Contact 714-536-5957

SHELTERS: Confidential shelter (30-45 days), food, clothing, individual/group counseling, child care and counseling, advocacy and referrals, parenting education, employment assistance, legal assistance. 24 hr hotlines

  • Women's Transitional Living Center (714) 992-1931
  • Human Options (949) 854-3554
  • Interval House (714) 891-8121

VICTIM COUNSELING: Group and individual counseling, free or sliding fee scale

  • WTLC Walk-in Resource Center (714) 449-7535
  • Human Options (714) 435-9992
  • Laura's House (714) 361-3775
  • Interval House (714) 891-8121

VICTIM/ WITNESS: Criminal case status/ disposition information, Victim Compensation filing assistance, orientation to criminal justice system, restitution, witness/subpoena assistance. West Court office (714) 896-7188

LEGAL ASSISTANCE:

  • OCBA Lawyer Referral Service (949) 440-6747
  • Legal Aid (714) 571-5200
  • WTLC DV legal clinic (714) 449-7535
  • Women's Law Center (714) 667-1038

MEN'S BATTERERS INTERVENTION PROGRAMS:

  • Action Consultants (949) 645-7484
  • Diversified Counseling Services (714) 895-0933
  • Addiction Treatment Center (714) 992-1677

WOMEN'S BATTERERS INTERVENTION PROGRAMS:

  • Action Consultants (949) 645-7484
  • Human Options Couseling Center (949) 679-9671
  • Hearts Path Couseling Center (714) 891-1004

ELDER ABUSE/ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES: (800) 451-5155

CSP DISPUTE RESOLUTION: Conflict settlement through mediation (949) 851-3168

RESTRAINING ORDER ASSISTANCE: Free domestic violence restraining order filing assistance, available weekdays, 8AM-5PM at the Domestic Violence Assistance Program, Room C-705, 341 The City Drive, in Orange.

  • (714) 935-7956
  • (714) 973-0134 (24 hr. info line)